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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425914">The Answer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphictaurus/pseuds/Sapphictaurus'>Sapphictaurus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Self-Reflection, basically it’s just a whole lot of Lena thinking, it’s soft and gay at the end though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:21:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,012</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphictaurus/pseuds/Sapphictaurus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lena had always been searching for something. An unspoken question, a void hiding away in the back of her mind– one that had formed the day her mother died and had been left empty ever since. She found herself looking for ways to fill it.</p>
<p>The answer comes to her in the shape of a woman with golden blonde hair and ocean blue eyes, dressed in pastels and a cute a-line skirt.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas (mentioned), Lena Luthor/Jack Spheer (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Answer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This wouldn’t leave my head last night so now it’s here &lt;3</p>
<p>I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lena had always been searching for <em>something</em>. An unspoken question, a void hiding away in the back of her mind– one that had formed the day her mother died and had been left empty ever since. She found herself looking for ways to fill it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>First with her obsession about the stories her mother used to tell her, how Lena would find herself sitting up at night in the Luthor mansion, whispering the words of the story book aloud into the fluffy ear of her teddy bear. Just because her new parents wouldn’t read to her didn’t mean she was going to deny a good bedtime story to her only friend.</p>
<p>Lillian finds the book under her mattress when she’s 10 and tosses it into the trash without another word, reminding her that Luthor’s don’t indulge in such childish things.</p>
<p>If she’s going to read, she certainly shouldn’t be filling her head with fiction.</p>
<p>The next day there’s a stack of new books on her desk. All non-fiction. All research. All void of the sparkling wonder that Lena had found in her mother’s stories.</p>
<p>She sighs in defeat and reads them anyway, because the storybook is gone. Her mother is gone. </p>
<p>She’s 10 when she is taught that there is no such thing as a happy ending, and it’s time for her to realize that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then she tried to fill the void with Andrea. Andy with her beauty, and her contagious laughter. Her sparkling smile and her unending supply of alcohol. </p>
<p>When she falls asleep next to Andrea in their shared dorm room at Mount Helena’s school for girls, she tries not to let herself focus too hard on how….good it feels to lay beside her. She tries not to think about Andy’s soft hair, her perfect skin, her crystal eyes.</p>
<p><br/>When Andrea betrays her it’s like the world cracks in half because she only had so much left. She only had Andy.<br/><br/></p>
<p>She had been told years ago that love was irrational, stupid, another thing to be left behind in fairytales. She should have known better than to trust anyone, than to let herself love anyone. </p>
<p>Andrea betrays her and her heartbreaks even more than it did when Lex crushed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lena is 23 when she realizes that maybe the void inside her was always going to be empty, and that maybe she should just try to find a way to live with that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sort of tried to fill the void with Jack. He was smart, funny, handsome, and charming in all the right ways. Jack looks at her like she’s the answer to every question he’s ever had the inclination to ask, and damn it if she doesn’t try her hardest to look at him the same way. <br/><br/></p>
<p>She loves him at the same time she loves Andrea, which is wrong for a number of reasons but she doesn’t feel like dwelling on it.</p>
<p>She can be with Jack, build a company with him, a life with him, a legacy with him– one that will be so much different than the legacy that Lex is intent on leaving the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s something comfortable about Jack, he doesn’t feel like home but he makes her feel safe and she pretends like that’s enough until one day it just isn’t. </p>
<p>Because Lex is a murderer. Metropolis is drowning her. LuthorCorp is about to plummet into nothing.</p>
<p>Jack wants her to stay and for some reason all she wants to do is change the course of her life, go to National City and work beside a woman she’s never met. </p>
<p>A woman who probably hates her because of what her brother has done to her cousin. </p>
<p>It’s <em>crazy</em>, Jack calls it crazy, and she knows he’s right but she packs her things anyway, leaves because she’d never ask him to come with her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s 24 when she realizes that maybe she’s just the right amount of <em>crazy</em> that’s necessary to get her life on the track she wants it to be. Maybe crazy is just another word for <em>adventurous</em>. Maybe she’ll let herself think about the heroines in her mother’s stories just a little while longer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The unspoken void, the question that’s existed in the back of her mind since her mother died and life left her with a hell of a journey to endure– is answered the same year she leaves Jack and Metropolis and all the other things that she once believed could make her whole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The <em>answer</em> comes to her in the shape of a woman with golden blonde hair and ocean blue eyes, dressed in pastels and a cute a-line skirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lena pretends not to notice her, because she should be paying attention to Clark Kent. She has to clear her name after all, even if she hasn’t done anything to deserve the scrutiny his unwavering gaze provides.</p>
<p>So when Lena tells them both that she just wants to make a name for herself outside of her family, and <em>Kara</em> (because that’s her name and <em>dear god</em>, it’s such a pretty name) says something about feeling the same way– Lena thinks that maybe the storybooks might have been right about a few things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not until years later, when they’re laying in bed, and the sun is shining through the sheer white curtains that Lena realizes her heart is full. </p>
<p>Because the answer to her life long question is curled up against her, golden blonde hair fanned out on the pillows beneath them, tan skin nearly glowing in the sunlight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The <em>answer</em> isn’t Kara. Not entirely no.</p>
<p>Lena knows that the answer to filling that void was allowing herself to be loved, and to love just as fiercely in return.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>”Mmm whatcha doing?” Kara mutters, eyelashes fluttering, catching rays of sunlight in their movement as she sleepily looks up at the woman laying beside her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>”Nothing.” Lena smiles, tucking a blonde curl behind her ear. “Just thinking.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>”About?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>”You.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Kara giggles, snuggling impossibly closer before placing a kiss to Lena’s cheek.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>”I’m always thinking about you too.” </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come find me on instagram and twitter @karaszorxl</p>
<p>thanks for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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